Those that
don't learn
from history
are destined
to repeat it!

You see
things that
are spiritually
tend to repeat
and to ring

like a bell
getting ever



MAR 12, 2018:  CAN WE SEE GOD?    You may disagree, but I think the lives and deaths of all His beloved saints act as a spotlight to outline a clean sharp Image of an awesome God who:

Has a long-range vision:
400 years in Egypt till Canaanite cup filled
To redeem through Jesus only at right time
To teach us and Satan through trials of Job

Continually taking some as expressly His:
Jacob-Esau, Judah-Ruben, Israel-Canaanites
A priesthood vs. those who choose darkness
His Image includes picking man’s helpmeet

Not compromise when things get rough:
David face down pleading for his child
Jesus in the garden asking for cup to pass

Slowly parent-husbands:
Decades taking the schemer out of Jacob
A decade in desert preparing David as King

Is resolute on the best, right way:
Job not curse or blame God held as example
Not bowing to gold idol in face of fiery furnace
Jesus not taking a shortcut by bowing down

Insists we learn the cost of a calling:
With Samson’s last bit of strength
Jesus on the cross, the cost of obedience

Ministers in the hard times:
In fiery furnace, lion’s den, whale’s belly
In intense garden prayers

I suggest God’s actions show us He does not want to be alone and is taking the slow, patient, Parent-Husband, approach to prepare a people who respond to Him — to then raise to His side!  And among us I see another common thread.  All who are His have to come to a point of total surrender to the purpose, plan, and pattern of what that awesome Father God put before them.

They had to lay it all down.

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MAR 5, 2018:  GUN LAWS    This won't cover the Constitutional aspects of the subject; this is only a response to the knee-jerk reaction being pushed by liberals in the name of "The Florida Shooting".  You are being used!  Those who desire the destruction of this country necessary to bring about Socialism need to first disarm the American people.  Read your history books.  They will NOT state this real reason, but will use every excuse possible to slowly tighten the noose on all guns, while ignoring all the non-gun screw-ups that went into that Florida shooting.  They will ask big, but little baby steps are still steps, be it towards Socialism or towards common sense!

Liberals!  Do you want to actually do something constructive for the children?  For starters:

•    Put God back in school.

•    Put involved fathers back in the home.
(There has been a father issue with every shooter. Bill Glass, an ex-football star with a major prison ministry, has been in almost every prison in the USA and interviewed thousands of prisoners across the crime spectrum. He says: "I have never met a prisoner who had a good relationship with his father".

•    Stop the excessive over prescription of antipsychotic and antidepressant drugs that Doctors now practice as normal! Especially to children!
(Almost every mass shooter was or has been on these drugs which are known [right on the warning sheet] to produce thoughts of suicide and aggression).

•    Make it clear to all that deals like what happened between the Florida School Board and the Sheriff’s Department will get people fired.
(And prosecuted for obstruction of justice, or perhaps even aiding and abetting.

•    Put a reasonable defensive system around schools, similar to other countries.
(That means it can NOT be a "gun free zone".  That means arming those teachers, administrators, and staff members who want to be trained and armed.)

•    Put a system in place that responds to red flags in behavior.
(Here is where some type of gun restriction system makes sense; like keeping a drunk out of a car.)

People use your brains, not your media driven reactions!!!!!

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Comment based on an article in the NATIONAL REVIEW, by David French March 2, 2018:  According to Obama education secretary Arne Duncan, Broward County was one of 53 major school districts to adopt Obama-administration guidelines designed in part to limit law-enforcement involvement in school discipline.  This is the Obama administration's policy to fight the so-called "school-to-prison pipeline" by reducing minority arrests.  Note that's not "reduce minority crime"; it's reduce minority ARRESTS.

Nikolas Cruz registered in his school as a minority.  Did Broward County sheriffs and Parkland police fail to arrest Cruz after numerous reports and incidents due to this insane Obama policy?  The facts seem to say yes.

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FEB 26, 2018:  DICHOTOMIES    There are dozens of Christian dichotomies: works-grace; saved-being saved; faith-covenant; parent-husbanding; miserable sinner-saint of the most high God; unconditional (actually the word does not even exist in most Bible translations) love-love not without a scheme or a plan for eternal good; plus the many others you can probably think of.  My take after struggling through many of these is that the answer is NEVER a balance between the two extremes, or a compromise, but a change of perspective that matches God’s view and can then normally encompass BOTH.

Let me give you a quick example.  Take a pepper shaker labeled "Works" and put it at one end of a cocktail table.  At the other end of the table place a salt shaker labeled "Faith".  Never the two shall meet, right?  Now, instead of sitting on the couch looking at Works versus Faith, or even arguing about it, get down on the floor on your hands and knees.  Crawl over to the farthest end of the room from the end of that table and you can find a viewpoint where the two shakers overlap!  But the secret is you have to get on your knees to find it!  Get my point?

There is almost always a godly perspective from which both views of any long running Christian dichotomy can be viewed which manages to encompass both views.  It is man-made teachings that have caused the problem.  But the answer is never just a compromise, or balance point on a continuum.

It requires a godly change of perspective.

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FEB 19, 2018:  CALVINISM 7    This will be my last Blog for now regarding Calvinism.  So, perhaps a summation is in order.  We have briefly looked at:

•   Calvinism absolutely requires: A God who is 100% complete within Himself, not needing us; 100% powerful and involved in doing absolutely everything; 100% predetermination of who will be saved and who is already assigned to hell; no explanation provided as that may actually involve man; and basically a totally super holy "otherness" type of God.

•   This is NOT the covenant God of Abraham.

•   Calvinism has tried to fill a vacuum caused by lack of Blood Covenant teaching.

•   Salvation is NOT the final objective, just as marriage doesn't stop at the reception.  Calvinism does not properly promote the maturity and responsibility to grow past that point.

•   The only allowed Image God specifically created to show us Him, is totally contrary to the absolutes of Calvinism.

•   "Covenant Theology" is nothing like actual Blood Covenant.  There is a duality to real covenants with God.  You are beautiful, AND we need to work on a few things.

•   God continuously uses required "acts of obedience" that demonstrate an agreement and participation with God as He Parent-Husbands us.

•   God desires a specially built "helper" companion, exactly like Eve was to have been to Adam.  And Christ is the "rib" upon and around which she is being built.

I understand the comfort a "It's all 100% God, and He has predestined me for heaven" view of God can bring.  It is the comfort of a child, and for a young Christian it isn't totally wrong.  For some though, I have seen Satan use Calvinism as a trap!  The structure of selectively picked scriptures needed to support Calvinism must be defended at all cost!  The cost?  Never letting yourself say, "I do" to an unfolding, ever deeper relationship with Jesus; never even recognizing in your own life some of the acts of obedience similar to God telling Abram to get some animals; and sometimes not having the gentle brokenness and listening yieldiness Christ desires in His Bride.

In over defending God, Calvinism robs itself
of the tools needed to walk in maturity with Christ in eternity.

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FEB 12, 2018:  CALVINISM 6    The more common sense examples I can give, and the more different ways I can say the same thing, the more likely it is that one of them will make sense to someone.  Some theologies seem to emphasize: God is totally complete within Himself; He does not need us; We are totally depraved; God approaching us is totally a gift on His part.  I maintain that is wrong!  So, let's look at it NOT being good for God to be alone specifically based on the ONLY allowed Image God intentionally created of what He is really up to!

Wives!  Your husband picked you, chose you, wanted you, needed you because there was something about YOU!  Something he thought would match, compliment, fit, and help, a need within him.  Ask him.  He did not, would not, could not do it all 100% for you.  You had to BE what he chose.  And you could say no; and had to say "I do".  Even Eve who God knew would be a fit was still brought in naked for approval; a very visual, gut level, approval!  And God in the only allowed Image of Himself in all creation shows us it is exactly the same for Him.  Christ is the rib upon which and around which the Father is building His companion.  And that companion MUST of its own free will choose (unlike the 1/3 angels that didn’t) to submit, flow, yield, and obey.

God will and does do a huge part of the heavy lifting; 90%, 95%, I don’t know, but the pattern in the WHOLE O.T. is that as a test, as an entry point, there is ALWAYS some little thing God requires as an act of obedience (NOT a work); a demonstration of agreement.  Read the Bible and see.  Do what God demands, and then God acts.  Don’t and you are not giving God the glory, you are saying He isn’t right, and things do not go well.  Read it and see what happens when people don't do what He asks!

How can people intentionally ignore so much of the Bible,
in the name of man-made theology?

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FEB 5, 2018:  CALVINISM 5    This is my 5th BLOG on Calvinism and you may have noticed that I have said very little about it directly.  That is intentional!  I have been told the Treasury Department teaches new agents to spot counterfeit money by giving them real money to hold, feel, examine, crush, snap, smell, fold, pour water on, and play with!  THAT is how you come to recognize the fake stuff!

With that in mind let's look at the continuously repeating pattern of exactly what being in a long term relationship with the Lord should look like!  I shortened the examples to keep this a BLOG instead of a book.  With Israel God did all the heavy lifting but always, Always, ALWAYS in dealing with those that are His He insisted on some little act of obedience (don't think of it as a "work" that earns anything) to indicate to Him and to the world that we agree with God and trust Him enough to participate: Don't eat from that tree, make an ark (well that wasn't a little thing), leave Ur, get animals, circumcised, go down to Egypt, get a perfect lamb, put blood on the door posts, walk around the city, send out the choir, those that lap with their hand, use the governors assistants, wait for the sound of marching in the tree tops, the one hiding by the baggage, dig ditches in the dessert, set an ambush, and on and on.  Also consider all the "Don't do this, but if you do, then..." found in Leviticus; plus the continual reinforcement of the idea that it has to be exactly what God says.  Not more!  Not less!  God's covenant provision!  Take it or leave it!  Exactly like Jesus!

It all leaves the will, the requirement to choose, to obey, or not, while moderating any idea of works.

And you can't possibly walk with the Lord as your actual LORD for very long before hitting a, "Lord, You want me to do WHAT?"  Normally some little thing that requires a breaking of pride, image, or your rights.  And He says: But if you want to grow..., but if you love me..., but if you really want to overcome..., but if you are really my servant....  And if you have never hit one of those Lord things, you might want to ask Him just how much you are really His.

Closing thought for now:  A parent that does absolutely 100% everything for a child past the first number of months, is a lousy parent.

God is a very good God who wants to Parent-Husband us to eventually be His companion.

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JAN 29, 2018:  CALVINISM 4    We have just taken a very brief look at the assurance found in Covenant and that we have a VERY motivated God!  And yes, I realize that the subject of Covenant should take a whole book all by itself (if you have time I recommend anything on Covenant by Derek Prince, and it is NOT anything like Covenant Theology).  I also know that somebody is going to point out that legally the covenant God cut with Abraham covered Abraham AND his descendants, NOT specifically the gentiles!  What about them?  Glad you asked.

After Jesus finished what was required of him, YOUR specific salvation is based on You entering into a totally individual covenant between You and the Christ.  And yes it is fair, because after doing what He needed to do, God promised the nations to Him.  You are then slowly led to a trust that the Lord both wants and will accomplish our good.  You are given to see the His blood can be applied to your need.  You must trust and yield enough to say "I do", or "I need". You open Yourself to Him spiritually, similar to a woman giving herself to a husband.  It doesn't get more personal than that.  That is the covenant foundation underneath the words "believe" or have "faith".  It is only under covenant that legally what is His is then Yours.  And what was Yours (including sin) is now legally His.  IT IS COVENANT IN HIS BLOOD, NOT DEPENDENT ON FEELINGS!  Got that?

Now, there are two separate things within that one covenant relationship.  One, is a rock solid position under covenant He will not and can NOT break!  Therein is the assurance!  Two, is relationship, and there if you fight the Lord, refuse to learn, keep trying to run your own ship, things can indeed "feel" a bit dicey.  The part of the relationship does indeed depend on what Christ needs to work into you to have you be exactly what He already sees you as in eternity, and how easily you let Him do it!

As an example of the dual nature to covenants you need to read Numbers 22:38 thru Numbers 24:9.  Here Israel IS God's under Blood Covenant, so to the world she IS beautiful, loved, and don't you dare touch her!  BUT, between Israel and the Lord she was still stiff necked and in need of a lot of work.  That is you!  That is me!  Got that?  Position under covenant is rock solid and does NOT depend on your "I", "I", "I" feelings; relationship on the other hand can get very touchy-feely as the Lord nudges and corrects.

Get used to it!

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JAN 22, 2018:  CALVINISM 3    The second "assurance" from God which Calvinism and many others seem to miss is how very serious God was in the very beginning to use the only allowed Image of Himself, a man plus a woman united as one plural-unity, to show us things ABOUT HIM and His intentions for us, NOT about us!  A lot of VERY wrong theology comes from looking at us Us US!  Looking in the wrong direction produces a backwards theology, so let's take still another look at that Image, condensed from a list used July of 2017.

God Image carefully engraved into man is specifically telling us:
•   It is NOT good for the Father to be alone
    (the "eternally complete within Himself" theology is wrong!)
•   That desire was then begotten into Christ and built into man
•   That "helper" was to be a second perspective to man and to God
•   Christ is the "rib" UPON-AROUND which the Father is building His companion
•   Christ was made King and Lord as focal point for that building
•   God gives man a sandbox to play in and practice dominion
•   God did NOT take dominion back when man sinned
    (what He gives STAYS given — irrevocably)
•   Father-Christ is a plural-unity like man-woman, both equal and unequal
•   God blessed and liked what He was working towards
•   Tree in garden is a parental "but if" clause within perfection
•   Work in garden foreshadows work for and with Him
•   God had choices besides the human race that didn't suit Him
•   Father God WAS upsetting some sort of spiritual apple-cart
•   A “deep” sleep on Adam — God is still waiting for 1 Cor. 15:28
•   Adam says Wow, and Christ will return because He desires your beauty
•   What does He see in you? Something of Himself
•   Woman out from man, humans out from Christ, Christ out from Father
•   God "leaves" — looks differently at His tent in order to "cling"
    (cling: in the back of the mind to think of the comfort, the pleasure,
    the "I'm home" feel of coming through the "door" into His own tent,
    into His companion)
•   God wants to become one with us
•   Naked and not ashamed — eternity more open than theologians suggest.

A marriage or any legal covenant MUST not be made under duress!  It must have BOTH parties willingly, knowingly, intentionally, participate.  IF IT IS 100% GOD then it is NOT a legal covenant and Satan could scream bloody murder at the travesty of justice.  Calvinism is wrong!  YES, God does most of the providing and heavy lifting, but the second you push it to 100% God, you totally disregard both covenant, and God's Image and intentions.

In case anyone missed it, the assurance is that we have a Father God who is EXTREMELY motivated to have a companion that can flow, yield, and be a "helper" fit for Him.  He wants us!  And although we missed it, He told us this right smack in the beginning!

As an aside, any time there is too great an emphasis on total depravity, it is NOT from God, Gnosticism has crept in.

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JAN 15, 2018:  CALVINISM 2    I have been a fully committed Christian for over 45 year.  I see the main problem with Calvinism, Arminianism, Soteriology, and others, is that in general there is NOT an adequate teaching or understanding of Blood Covenant which is the basis for ALL interactions between God and man; or a proper emphasis on what God wants to show us about Himself through His Image.  So, there is a natural vacuum caused by the lack of the rock solid assurance that knowledge could offer.  Let's start with covenant.

The simple truth is covenant with God does always contain amazing assurance of both specifically promised, permanently fixed, positions, under covenant; AND "but if" clauses that do determine the specifics of how God deals with us under covenant, dependent upon our response or lack thereof to those terms.  It is exactly like a child under a good parent!  That I love my son is based on him being my son, but the specifics of the relationship are based on his age related needs!  Covenant is the foundation under the words "faith" or "believe".  That is what you are trusting, a Christ cut and filled covenant.  Covenant is what is under the words to make them work.  Covenant is exactly what Abram asked from God, "How may I know?", and it is the exact answer God gave to him.

To simplistically say God loves us UNCONDITIONALLY is also a lie; the word does not occur even once in most translations of the Bible.  And God's own self-definition of love always Always ALWAYS uses covenant terms like shield, friend, banner, covering, etc.  The simply stated assurance is that God can NOT break covenant.  That is stronger than the capricious, unexplained, predetermined choice of Calvinism.

True, the provision of salvation is NOT dependent upon us, BUT the entering into that provision IS covenant!  Exactly like Ruth accepting the God of Naomi.  It is like a marriage which requires saying “I do” with a full, unimpaired, no duress, knowing, willful, consent.  There are things God, as a gentleman can do just because He made us (call it covenant level one), but as a gentleman, as a parent-husband, as one seeking a companion, there are amazing things He will not do unless we invite Him in (covenant level two)!  And then more.  And then MORE!

Deeper and deeper in, way beyond just being saved.

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JAN 8, 2018:  CALVINISM 1    Probably the thing I find most bothersome among fellow Christians is the creeping legalism of Calvinism.  I do understand the appeal!  Once a person "feels" sort of saved Calvinism offers a great deal of comfort and assurance not offered by the simple teachings of belief and faith.  Calvinism offers one answer to the typical:  Have I believed the right thing?  Have I believed enough?  Have I doubted?  I don't "feel" saved today!  How can God keep forgiving me? — Calvinism's very appealing answer is: "It isn't you; it's 100% God; and it is permanently predetermined."

Now, the problem with any almost-true-ism is that then you must build a huge house of cards to support that theology.  Calvinism absolutely requires:  A God who is 100% complete within Himself, not needing us; 100% powerful and involved in doing absolutely everything, because absolutely everything must come from him; 100% predetermination of who will be saved and who is already assigned to hell, with an almost capricious, arbitrariness, to His choice, and no explanation provided as that may actually involve man; and basically a totally super holy "otherness" God.

This is NOT the covenant God of Abraham!

When I talk to Calvinists it strongly reminds me of talking to Jehovah Witnesses.  They keep jumping from one slightly misapplied scripture to another, from supporting card to supporting card, and don't let themselves every see the forest for the trees; especially all the Old Testament types and precedence.  They also remind me of a 3 year old child who being totally consistent with his age, legalistically argues with the neighbor 8 year old that, "My Daddy can do anything, and can totally beat your Daddy."  I understand that from the 3 year old perspective, they aren't wrong.  So, if I am saying they aren't totally right either, from the 8 year old's perspective, it behooves me to provide an alternative that is more correct, AND offers the equivalent amount of comfort and assurance.

Next Time.

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JAN 1, 2018:  CHASING AFTER WIND    I have been considering the seeming futility of life.  Some may deceive themselves about the importance of a particular doctrine, a particular action of political or social reform, or even of a particular degree of success, invention, prestige, or accomplishment — UNTIL they look at history!  It levels us!  Everything was already!  There is always someone better (or will be).  And history shows we are egotistical to think that even half of what we are sure of in religion, physics, medicine, anything, is actually fully true.  A few, like Billy Graham, seem to make a difference, but MILLIONS die in holocausts, famines, wars, natural disasters, and plagues who seemed to have made little difference beyond their immediate family.

So, obviously God’s view of what is important to build into a human being for eternity must NOT be directly dependent on any of the above mentioned criteria, fortunes, or misfortunes.  As part of my exploration of this dismal subject, I reread the book of Ecclesiastes.  I find there are ten little gems carefully tucked into the vanity and despair that give guidance to living with a perspective that RIDES ABOVE the circumstances of life!  Here is the list:  Ecclesiastes 2:24-26;  3:190-14;  3:22;  5:18,19;  7:14;  8:15;  9:7;  9:9;  11:8;  and 12:13.

They suggest that God is trying to build into us an attitude of fear (the reverent awe type), appreciation, and a trust of God in whatever comes along!  That attitude is best demonstrated outwardly by loving and enjoying:  our mate,  our family,  whatever food is on the table,  and whatever God gives us to do with our hands.

So, be life 77 years, or 45 minutes (as with one girl the Lord showed me); a plush yacht, or a leaky row boat; gourmet dining, or a bacon and jelly sandwich —

— the opportunity for joy is still there!

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DEC 25, 2017:  A pause for CHRISTmas    In this increasingly screwed-up, take-offense-world, where socially progressive liberalism desires to rip God out of EVERYTHING, please STOP!  Take a moment.  Find a place to get alone for at least a few minutes.  Think of a hymn or song that is meaningful to you as a Christian.  Sing or at least hum it!  YOU can put CHRIST in Christmas!


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DEC 18, 2017:  MIXED SIGNALS 19    This is the last section of "Mixed Signals".  It sums up what I see as the result of a perfect storm of independent spirit, feminism, and liberal teachings.

The Rump End

This whole discussion on Mixed Signals started because I overheard a young woman in very tight shorts comment to a female friend she was walking with that she “hated being looked at like a piece of meat”.  This was said after drawing the visual attention of several young guys sitting on a bench along the walkway.  I thought, “Wait a minute!”  These guys would have to have been dead or comatose not to notice and instinctively respond to those lean, tight, curves, in a very enticing motion, at eye level, just a few feet in front of them.

I saw this as a symptom, the tip of an iceberg.  Of course she doesn’t want to be looked at just as an “object”, but she really did not see the mixed signals, or where they were coming from.  And unfortunately I see in many Christian youth or young adult groups the same mixed up miss-understanding and mixed signals.  Youth Pastors, some of you have failed!  These young women have not been taught God’s norm, the beauty and value of being a woman for and to a man.  They do not have a clue what God’s Image really means!  They have not been taught how to properly use what they have.  Yes, it is okay to deviate from God’s norm, BUT they need to learn to do it because of a specific calling from the Lord, NOT out of some “follow the herd”, everyone is doing it, mentality!  The young women of today are trained in confusion!  What she is really saying by her dress, by her actions, and by her words is:

“I want to flirt and be sexy, but I am totally not ready to commit; I want a knight in shining armor, and have no clue about reality; I want a career and to be ME, but I have not the slightest idea who that really is; And lastly, I want a man to cater to ME being exactly who I’m not sure I am.”

When a guy talks to her to see if he might be interested in her for a long range relationship, after a while, out of confusion at the mixed signals, he goes, “What the. . . .”  Remember, he should be looking for a helper, a complimentary companion, to share himself with so he doesn’t have to be alone!  After about the third or fourth girl with mixed signals, he may decide being single is not be so bad!  The typical young woman of today reeks of high emotional maintenance, and of having the type of fantasy expectations that will definitely contribute to a divorce.

Yup, this discussion was definitely necessary.  My hope is that some young woman out there will find comfort that despite the confusion of the times, God does still care.

God really does want to provide you with a covering you can trust.

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DEC 11, 2017:  MIXED SIGNALS 18    Some of you have already seen this.  It is reposted here as a BLOG because it is the second last section of the booklet, "Mixed Signals", and listed there as helpful hints for young women seeking the traditional path of marriage.

Tips For Picking A Husband

1.  Get to really know his Dad.  If you can't stand Daddy, don't marry the son.  You have a better than 50% chance that in twenty years the son will have a similar set of fat and attitudes as Daddy.  It is risky to bet against it, especially if Dad doesn't really respect or appreciate his wife.

2.  Check his relationship with his mother.  If he isn't considerate of her now, having learned to cherish and respect her as a woman, he will not be considerate of you later.  His consideration will be a major contributor to lasting sexual pleasure both in bed and out.

3.  Check the mother.  If she is a real bitch you’re in for trouble.  If the apron strings are too strong, run.  If she is a mousy wimp the son may expect or even demand the same from you.  Whatever she is, or isn’t, can you see you wanting to fill that role?

4.  He, and you, should have a personal commitment and relationship with Jesus Christ.  In both of you submitting to Him: the Lord can guide the man’s vision for you, and you can learn that yielding to that vision can be a place of peace.  That will be very important 14 years down the road.  It adds a third strand to the cord that binds you together.  Do NOT be unequally yoked.

5.  Check him out under stress to see the real man.  Arrange to have him drive you across Chicago during rush hour to something you made him leave late for.  If the guy in front of him is cussed out as a  #@&!, you can count on falling rapidly into the same category when you irritate him after you marry.

6.  Don't marry him unless both sets of parents give their blessing, and I do not mean under duress.  When you say "I do" you become the body of a new entity, and God will try to bless it no matter what kind of a brute or loser you marry; but till then, the parents are God's "mouth" to cover you for what He sees as long-range-best, even if the words and reasons your parents use to rationalize it are total hog wash (they can't see the "why" that God already knows).

7.  Be leery of the tingle that either a bad boy or a handsome body and face can give you.  Don’t give your heart so fast, and don’t use your body to try to buy his heart.  It won’t work!  Take time to look for integrity and strength of character.  A Godly spirit normally lasts a lot longer than six pack abs or tight buttocks, although those things indeed are nice too.  And long range, bad boys often have too many emotional issues to make them good parents or mates.

8.  Ignore ALL the high-sounding romantic or philosophical ideas of idealized love or of equality in relationship.  You probably don't know what love is, and most of today’s ideas are NOT scriptural anyway.  From sinless Eve before the fall created for Adam’s aloneness, to Christ coming as King for His bride because He "longs for your beauty", the real reason to marry is rather gut level.  It is a combination of the man's need to not be alone, to have one beautiful to him to share himself with, and your need to be appreciated as that one.

9.  Opposites do attract, but find a mate who sees the world similar to you, a Compliment to add to you.  Why struggle with exact same or dead opposite?  Be complimentary in roles & level of sexual need.  Be similar in balancing intuition versus seeing practical immediacies, and in being flexible versus having a desire for closure and structure.

10. Get some little old lady prayer warrior to be praying daily for God to:  prepare YOU; prepare the right man for you; and to slam the door on all wrong ones, even if you’ve already let his fingers in your door.  Don’t settle for less than God’s best because you wrongly think you are less than God’s best.

11. When you find one you want to give yourself to: before you marry ask him specifically what he needs from you; what is beautiful to him; and what he is marrying you for.  Determine his terms!  You may not want the job, but you really need to find that out beforehand.  Insist he knows himself, is honest with himself, and then with you.  And you do the same for him.

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